Nicolette Schwab                                                           

Ms.Cohl

FIQWS 10105 HA9

1 October, 2018

I was sitting on the steps of the courthouse. A promising morning, sun rays beamed through the willow trees that engulphed me. My mind was in a whirl, this was the day that I would face my father in court. Through all the awkward hellos and handshakes, my copy of “Where the Mountain Meets the Moon” stayed clutched tightly in my grip. This, my portal to another world, was my only friend in the lonely courthouse. Sweaty armpits, death defying glances, a lack of acknowledgement between two people in the room. There wasn’t an elephant in the room, the elephant was the room. The tension between sides could have brought water to a boil in an instant.

I traced the pages with my fingertips, hoping that I could jump onto the back of the Pearl Dragon with Mingling and drift into an obvlion, as far away from what I was about to just experience. However, I was in my own story, and had to fill in my own pages. As allegations flew from side to side, voices beginning to roar and being hushed all in the same moment. An overwhelming amount of senses and emotions yet I felt grounded, for I had the Pearl Dragon in my hand and that was one thing no one could take away from me. Living in a anything but nuclear household, literature was always an exit option for me. If my life story started getting too intense for me, I slipped out my worn copy of the alchemist and let my mind roam away onto the world of the unknown. As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that if I wasn’t consistently reading a book, my life would feel emptier. Literature has filled a void in my life. The possibilities that literature made me feel like I had in my life was what made me be able to handle situations like this one.

The case didn’t end on that golden day however, but neither did the story of Mingling and the Pearl Dragon so I had hope that mine still had time for a brighter ending. The court case lasted weeks, in and out of jury’s and sterile courthouses. It was hard for me not to lose all hope in the world during that time of my life, it felt like I was screaming at the bottom of a well a thousand feet down, so that my voice merely sounded like the clink of a penny entering the water. Each day my resentment for the Family Court system in the United States grew until it was a balloon on the verge of bursting. It started consuming my thoughts, taking me away from my novels, taking me away from my escape. My days became dreary and grey, without the colorful illustrations that the pages gifted my mind. I let the sadness consume me, unable to lift a book to my face, I waited for another sunny day.Eventually that day came. I was sitting on the bleachers during gym class, letting the sun set into my veins when my English professor tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey kid, sorry to disturb you.” It was as if the pain in my eyes was reflecting into his soul, knowing he could sense the glumness, I stared blankly to the blue sky above. I resented when people knew how I was feeling; but I knew he did, especially because he noticed I hadn’t picked up a book in weeks, not even the classics assigned in class. I think this devastated him even more than it did me. “I brought you something, if it doesn’t call to you on the first page you can leave it on my desk.”, as soon as I squinted my eyes open to process his words, Mr. Artist was already gone, along with everyone else on the football field I heard the flutter of pages from behind me and was greeted by “The wondrous life of Oscar Woa”. Haven’t having read a page in weeks, my instinct was to throw the book to the other end of the dewy field, so that its words could never reach me nor help me. I felt that if I wasn’t going to do it for myself, I would at least do it for Artist. I reluctantly laced my fingers around the binding, and let the wind guide the page open to one. The first page didn’t captivate me, it was the first line.

That day I let literature back into my life after shutting it out. The importance that stories and fables have in my life will be something that will always ground me to a point of self-peace. Closing myself off, quite frankly dismissing literature, made me have such a higher level of appreciation for it and all the different ways that it can reach people. Literature was and always will be my portal that I can hop into no matter what hour in the day and come to a place of self-enjoyment and love. Literature has made me develop a deeper appreciation for not just others but myself as well and I look forward to seeing how it will continue to make me grow.